In an episode of How I met Your Mother, it starts off when Ted's friends comment about how talkative his new girlfriend is. Then it snowballs when they turn their backs on one another & start voicing their pet peeves. *glass shatters*
It's funny how when you're infatuated at the start of a new relationship, almost nothing about the other person can annoy you. It's limerence where you're all excited about being in love. It's at this stage where you hear sweet nothings from the other person & you're on Cloud Nine because they tell you "I like you for who you are." I almost wish that's left unsaid.
The test is when you get past that. You start to notice those habits which never annoyed you before & they eventually become pet peeves. It may be the tiniest thing like the way they walk, or more important things which you don't see eye-to-eye with. But as said in the episode, "if you love them enough, you learn to live with them."
Maybe I'm naturally too optimistic. Often when I weigh up the negatives against the positives, they're not big enough for me to make a big deal out of & I let them go. Surely there are more things I value & hold on to more than even the bad stuff which may seem important at the time?
I think I've become skeptical & more wary of what I hear at the start of a relationship. I know that sooner or later, something's going to come up which bores them, annoys them & frustrates them. I'm starting to think that when it comes to relationships, it's almost impossible to love someone the way God has made them. I don't believe it when I hear it anymore & I'd rather not if it's going to be betrayed. We all have our pet peeves or values we hold on to, but it takes patience & grace to be able to look past that. It seems like those two things just don't exist anymore or just get looked over when you extend it.
I realise more & more that there's nothing else like the love of God. You may get over the initial limerence of being a new Christian, but I don't think God does. I believe He always finds joy when we are in relationship with Him & He shows us His grace & patience each & every day. So as bitter, disappointed or betrayed as I may feel, I really pray that I can trust in that.
It's funny how when you're infatuated at the start of a new relationship, almost nothing about the other person can annoy you. It's limerence where you're all excited about being in love. It's at this stage where you hear sweet nothings from the other person & you're on Cloud Nine because they tell you "I like you for who you are." I almost wish that's left unsaid.
The test is when you get past that. You start to notice those habits which never annoyed you before & they eventually become pet peeves. It may be the tiniest thing like the way they walk, or more important things which you don't see eye-to-eye with. But as said in the episode, "if you love them enough, you learn to live with them."
Maybe I'm naturally too optimistic. Often when I weigh up the negatives against the positives, they're not big enough for me to make a big deal out of & I let them go. Surely there are more things I value & hold on to more than even the bad stuff which may seem important at the time?
I think I've become skeptical & more wary of what I hear at the start of a relationship. I know that sooner or later, something's going to come up which bores them, annoys them & frustrates them. I'm starting to think that when it comes to relationships, it's almost impossible to love someone the way God has made them. I don't believe it when I hear it anymore & I'd rather not if it's going to be betrayed. We all have our pet peeves or values we hold on to, but it takes patience & grace to be able to look past that. It seems like those two things just don't exist anymore or just get looked over when you extend it.
I realise more & more that there's nothing else like the love of God. You may get over the initial limerence of being a new Christian, but I don't think God does. I believe He always finds joy when we are in relationship with Him & He shows us His grace & patience each & every day. So as bitter, disappointed or betrayed as I may feel, I really pray that I can trust in that.
7 comments:
Maybe it comes down to the difference between 'like' and 'love'?
You might not 'like' things about a person (ie their walk?) but 'love' is commitment to that person expressed in action for their best interest.
In that sense the start of a relationship is primarily about 'likes' rather than 'love' (cos you haven't committed to anything)
Anyway, that's just my male opinion...thoughts?
I agree. I'm sure you don't 'like' everything about the person you (might) get married to, but you make a commitment to 'love'.
I guess it may depend on how much 'dislike' you have patience for in order for you to commit to 'love'.
... Like the time when I discovered that my then boyfriend didn't own a computer.
*glass shatters*
HAHAHAHA...
I'm afraid I hear that sound too often. Might go deaf one day.
Or that time when I found out that she didn't like and have never seen a single episode of Star Wars!?!?!?!?
I could put up with it for like 5 minutes... but then
*glass shatters*
But I'm sure that was the sound of J's heart shattering as he could NEVER hear such a sacrilegious thing... whether it be his or someone else's gf
Well, I'd never seen an episode until Episode 3. We all get sucked into it at some stage.
Hrm.. maybe we can put a positive spin on this glass shattering business. Think of one that's fogged up & then when it shatters, it's a good thing 'cos you can see clearly.
How's that for optimism?
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