This post is a response to Mark Driscoll's talk, 'My Dove', from 'The Peasant Princess' series. He gives his thoughts on repentance & forgiveness & to be honest, I'm still trying to work it all out in my mind. I'm curious as to whether anyone else can enlighten me.
Signs of bitterness:
Driscoll speaks about the path of forgiveness as the opposite to that of bitterness. Signs of bitterness are when you continually replay a past hurt and/or try to avoid the person who has hurt you.
Hearing this has caused me to search my own heart. While this may be true to a degree, there is wisdom involved in choosing to remain distant, especially if advised by older Christians. I don't think I have trouble with forgiveness & in fact often feel that others take advantage of that. I believe in giving second chances or benefit of the doubt. For me personally, avoidance does not necessarily equate to unforgiveness & bitterness, but to prudence & cautiousness. I know deep down that whatever the struggles that come with the offence, my response is not usually one against the offender, but in the context of how I cope with the hurt. 'Bitterness does not emanate from the magnitude of the offence, but the proximity of the offender.'
Responses of forgiveness:
Forgiveness & grace is not contingent on the repentance of the other party, but on Jesus' character. More than anything, I want to love as Jesus loves & forgive as Jesus forgives. Jesus teaches us to pray 'forgive us of our sin as we forgive those who sin against us' because He knows that this does not come naturally to us. Forgiveness is loving in spite of sin. There's no limit to God's forgiveness, but I struggle because I'm afraid of being trampled on.
Questions & thoughts out loud:
If forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation, how do you know when you've forgiven if there's no restoration of relationship?
If forgiveness doesn't mean excusing, justifying or forgetting the action, is the haunting of memories a sign of bitterness? It seems contradictory, or is it a matter of whether it's done consciously?
The crunch:
We often focus on the sins others commit against us, but fail to ask ourselves where we've sinned against others. I think the the first step is always to ask that hard question, then to ask God for forgiveness. Asking for God's help to deal with hurt will over time lead to a heart of forgiveness towards others.
As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to understand this all myself. I hope that I can say I've truly forgiven...
Signs of bitterness:
Driscoll speaks about the path of forgiveness as the opposite to that of bitterness. Signs of bitterness are when you continually replay a past hurt and/or try to avoid the person who has hurt you.
Hearing this has caused me to search my own heart. While this may be true to a degree, there is wisdom involved in choosing to remain distant, especially if advised by older Christians. I don't think I have trouble with forgiveness & in fact often feel that others take advantage of that. I believe in giving second chances or benefit of the doubt. For me personally, avoidance does not necessarily equate to unforgiveness & bitterness, but to prudence & cautiousness. I know deep down that whatever the struggles that come with the offence, my response is not usually one against the offender, but in the context of how I cope with the hurt. 'Bitterness does not emanate from the magnitude of the offence, but the proximity of the offender.'
Responses of forgiveness:
Forgiveness & grace is not contingent on the repentance of the other party, but on Jesus' character. More than anything, I want to love as Jesus loves & forgive as Jesus forgives. Jesus teaches us to pray 'forgive us of our sin as we forgive those who sin against us' because He knows that this does not come naturally to us. Forgiveness is loving in spite of sin. There's no limit to God's forgiveness, but I struggle because I'm afraid of being trampled on.
Questions & thoughts out loud:
If forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation, how do you know when you've forgiven if there's no restoration of relationship?
If forgiveness doesn't mean excusing, justifying or forgetting the action, is the haunting of memories a sign of bitterness? It seems contradictory, or is it a matter of whether it's done consciously?
The crunch:
We often focus on the sins others commit against us, but fail to ask ourselves where we've sinned against others. I think the the first step is always to ask that hard question, then to ask God for forgiveness. Asking for God's help to deal with hurt will over time lead to a heart of forgiveness towards others.
As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to understand this all myself. I hope that I can say I've truly forgiven...
2 comments:
forgiveness is an act, not a feeling. Though it may invite feelings, forgiveness is an exercise of the will. when you forgive, you refuse to be further damaged by the wrong-doing of others.
as driscoll puts it 'forgiving someone is what you do, judging them is what Jesus does...'
ok, driscoll didn't really say that, but the point is, Jesus forgives so we follow his example.
group hug, anyone?
Mmm... forgiveness definitely takes willpower as it goes against our very nature. Trying to love in spite of the hurt is something only God can help us do.
Group hug! :)
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