It's a Christmas tradition for me to write a Christmas post each year. I thought I'd stick to this one, but decided to break another. I skipped visiting the Christmas tree again this year for a number of reasons, one of which I'd like to share.
For some reasons I've yet to understand, God has chosen to teach me some very hard lessons this year. It's surely been the toughest year I've had yet. I've recently been spending more time in prayer & lying in bed one night, I found myself asking the question "What defines me?". The answer to that would be my past.
If I'm honest with myself, from a few little things in everyday life to more prominent 'in-your-face' events, more than a handful would trigger thoughts from the past, memories which seem to haunt, & feelings of hurt & betrayal. It's easy to revert back to those days. The sights & smells of Christmas in Sydney for me means going to the midnight service at the Cathedral, lights at Lurgarno, fountain & trees at Martin Place, getting sunburnt, a Christmas BBQ & playing mahjong & board games. And when I don't want to be reminded of those things, I just run away. I haven't forgotten the true meaning of Christmas or what's really important to me, but it's easy to become a prisoner of my own past.
This Christmas, I've prayerfully resolved not to have my past nor anyone else but God define me. The person I am in Jesus. The person God has uniquely created to be. I don't live to please anyone else but God, & that should be reflected in my thoughts too. As the cliche goes, what's past is gone & cannot be retrieved. You can only change the future. And I will never let go of my faith.
Perhaps it's time to create new traditions...
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight, O LORD,
my rock and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14
For some reasons I've yet to understand, God has chosen to teach me some very hard lessons this year. It's surely been the toughest year I've had yet. I've recently been spending more time in prayer & lying in bed one night, I found myself asking the question "What defines me?". The answer to that would be my past.
If I'm honest with myself, from a few little things in everyday life to more prominent 'in-your-face' events, more than a handful would trigger thoughts from the past, memories which seem to haunt, & feelings of hurt & betrayal. It's easy to revert back to those days. The sights & smells of Christmas in Sydney for me means going to the midnight service at the Cathedral, lights at Lurgarno, fountain & trees at Martin Place, getting sunburnt, a Christmas BBQ & playing mahjong & board games. And when I don't want to be reminded of those things, I just run away. I haven't forgotten the true meaning of Christmas or what's really important to me, but it's easy to become a prisoner of my own past.
This Christmas, I've prayerfully resolved not to have my past nor anyone else but God define me. The person I am in Jesus. The person God has uniquely created to be. I don't live to please anyone else but God, & that should be reflected in my thoughts too. As the cliche goes, what's past is gone & cannot be retrieved. You can only change the future. And I will never let go of my faith.
Perhaps it's time to create new traditions...
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight, O LORD,
my rock and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14
Merry Christmas, everyone. May we be reminded of our identity in Jesus, God's only Son who died for us. And may we keep our actions & thoughts pleasing to Him.
2 comments:
aww mahjong :(
I was just looking at christmas '07 photos... made me all nostalgic.
we played mahjong for 6-7 hrs straight that one night, ey? I haven't played mahjong since then. that was a short-lived phase, perhaps we over dosed on it heh.
here's another cliche for you: time heals all wounds.
true story :)
Amen to that Jess :)
Have a blessed new year!
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