RICE Regenerate Praise Night '09 - SURRENDER was awesome! Having been part of the team organising the event, I have been seriously reflecting on the theme myself. To me, surrender means to give up, to admit defeat & humbly acknowledge that I am nothing but for the grace of God & to entrust all aspects of my life to him.
I've come to realise that most of the time, surrendering my life to God requires patience & perseverance. There are certain burdens which have not been lifted off my shoulders completely, even after lots of prayer & coming to God with a broken & contrite heart. I feel the weight of the burden each & every day, even though I know in my mind of God's forgiveness, grace & mercy. It's easy to point the finger at others, but I tend to do a lot of self-blaming as well. Sometimes even the difficult words "I'm sorry" doesn't seem enough not because of unforgiveness, but because the burden of the sin still stays.
I wonder if you've ever read the story of Amnon & Tamar in 2 Samuel 13? It's just one example of the serious damage that sin can do to our lives. I imagine the violation, betrayal & abandonment Tamar must have felt. Her mourning must have lasted for years, if not the whole of her life.
I get frustrated by the fact that some of the things I've surrendered at the cross still affects me when I really don't want them to & it hurts more than I can ever describe. Perhaps there are certain things which affect your soul more than others. However, I do know that whatever the reason, it's a call to wait patiently on God. Jesus already carries the burden for me. I'm so grateful that I've have been shown what God's grace looks like on this side of the cross that I'm able to surrender all past, present & future sins to Him.
I've come to realise that most of the time, surrendering my life to God requires patience & perseverance. There are certain burdens which have not been lifted off my shoulders completely, even after lots of prayer & coming to God with a broken & contrite heart. I feel the weight of the burden each & every day, even though I know in my mind of God's forgiveness, grace & mercy. It's easy to point the finger at others, but I tend to do a lot of self-blaming as well. Sometimes even the difficult words "I'm sorry" doesn't seem enough not because of unforgiveness, but because the burden of the sin still stays.
I wonder if you've ever read the story of Amnon & Tamar in 2 Samuel 13? It's just one example of the serious damage that sin can do to our lives. I imagine the violation, betrayal & abandonment Tamar must have felt. Her mourning must have lasted for years, if not the whole of her life.
I get frustrated by the fact that some of the things I've surrendered at the cross still affects me when I really don't want them to & it hurts more than I can ever describe. Perhaps there are certain things which affect your soul more than others. However, I do know that whatever the reason, it's a call to wait patiently on God. Jesus already carries the burden for me. I'm so grateful that I've have been shown what God's grace looks like on this side of the cross that I'm able to surrender all past, present & future sins to Him.
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