The Grieving Process

The last couple of months have brought events which have caused many nights of crying before I sleep. I have come to realise the pain of broken relationships this side of heaven & how much I value the closeness of certain people in my life.

When you are torn from someone, especially without your control, you feel helplessness & deep sadness. You think about all the things you've been through together & how much of your life you've shared with them.

Today was one of the hardest days where I found myself reminiscing & grieving for the relationships which have been or will be broken. And even though I hope to see them again, I know that in reality it will never be quite the same. The absence of their presence is most often than not too noticeable, even if I might not show it. I'm often surprised by how much they truly mean to me.

Sometimes all I want is to express to them how much I'll miss them & how sad it makes me to see them go. I try to write a letter or perhaps buy a card. Today, I couldn't find a card that was quite right for what I felt. That only served to heighten those emotions.

On this side of heaven, I should expect that relationships will be hard & some inevitably broken. I was reminded that God is our comfort during these times & to let myself go through the grieving process slowly. I often get frustrated with myself, thinking I'm being selfish because I'm too inward focused. However, I've learnt that this would only serve to slow down the healing process & may lead to depression & unhealthy grief. Sometimes being angry is a good thing - part of the cycle of the grieving process. Time heals all wounds, so to speak. I also realise that there are good reasons for them to go & that they probably experience the same sadness I do.

I am reminded that God is sovereign & He has perfect timing & a perfect plan. I praise Him for all those people I hold so dearly in my life, who trust in Him & whom I look up to with deep respect. I thank Him for all those who have benefited from their guidance & wisdom. May He continue to keep them till the next side of heaven.